Lindsay Wagner Video Review

So here's my official review of the new Lindsay Wagner Playboy video. Actually, it's not ONLY about Lindsay. The other eleven Playmates are also in it. But this reviewer is in love with Lindsay Wagner and really doesn't care about the other centerfolds. Well, maybe Monica Leigh, but that's it. I'm loyal to Lindsay and don't feel comfortable lusting after the others. . . . Except for nude Valerie Mason. She's absolutely gorgeous. But she can't compare to Lindsay Wagner who is the most beautiful woman to ever grace the pages of Playboy. So as a tribute to miss Wagner, I will only review the segments that she is in.

Introduction
(0:00-2:51)
Shots of all the 2007 Playmates fill the screen. They're in various states of dress (including often nude). While a high enery rock score plays on the soundtrack a narrator reminds us of all the beautiful girls Playboy has had undressed in their magazine this year. This is good, but could have used more Lindsay.

Lindsay Wagner: Deserted Town
(1:51-8:15)
Lindsay drives into an old town in an old red jeep. She steps out and walks the streets and takes some pictures. There’s a lonely old guy there playing cards and Lindsay takes his picture. She rounds a corner and suddenly meets up with a young guy. The music changes slightly and the two suddenly start kissing passionately. The guy wastes no time stripping Miss Wagner of her clothes and fondling her breasts. She then poses nude for the camera solo in a couple of shots. The guy gets to caress Lindsay Wagner’s perfect buns. She unzips his pants and kisses his stomach. There are nice full-frontal shots of Miss Wagner as her skirt gets pulled up a couple of times. She then procedes to pose completely nude for a couple of more shots then the guy disappears. She walks passed the old guy a little confused as to what happened to her lover. I think the final impression that was suppose to be left with the viewer is that the young guy was a the old guy reliving his youth, but I’m not sure.

Lindsay Wagner: Waiting for Nothing
(8:15-12:14)
Before this segment I believe I recognize Playmates Cassandra Lynn and Regina Deutinger bouncing around in the background. Why, I'm not sure. Wish they would've come out and played with Lindsay. That would have been so hot!

We voyeuristically peek in a window at Lindsay Wagner on a rainy night. She is concerned about someone. Now inside, she is wearing a black slip. The slip disappears and now Lindsay is topless. She rolls around on the bed wearing just thong panties. Next we see her completely nude through the window. The camera pans up over her kitty, passed her breasts, to her face. There is more full frontal nudity as she lies on the bed, including a close-up of her twat. There is a nice shot of Lindsay Wagner’s buns as she lies on her stomach. The segment is leisurely paced with soft music on the soundtrack. Kind of boring, but lots of good nude shots of our girl Lindsay.

Lindsay Wagner: French Quarter
(16:17-22:06)
This segments starts out with Lindsay Wagner talking about her love of travel as she gets off a street car and walks along a European street. Back in her apartment she strips out of her dress as soft jazz plays on the soundtrack. Lindsay then walks around wearing a black bra and panties and fixes herself a drink. She looks out the window to an apartment across the way and sees a couple stripping each other and kissing. The woman has also been stripped down to bra and panties. Miss Wagner sits on her couch and thinks about the pair. She slowly removes her garters and stockings. Across the way the woman is topless and the guy is fondling her breasts. Finally Lindsay Wagner is completely nude and the camera pans over her body. There are nice full-frontal shots of her and the camera goes in for tight close-ups as she rubs lotion over her body. She walks to the window wearing just panties and a robe, leaving her breasts exposed, and makes eye contact with the guy across the way. Then. . . . well, that's it. The whole thing just ends right there! Those Playboy bastards teased the shit out of me with the beautiful Lindsay Wagner, then just left me hanging! This scene really pissed me off. I mean, if you're going to have Lindsay go through all that, then at least bring it to a climax. Bastards.

Lindsay Wagner: 21st Century Fox
(25:54-33:17)
In the next segment we begin in a futurist world as Lindsay Wagner and some guy venture down a seedy alleyway to an apartment. But some Gestapo types are after the guy. The guy fondles Lindsay’s breasts as her top comes off, then he removes his shirt with a little help from Lindsay, of course. She unzips her pants as the guy runs his hands along her body. They climb into bed with their pants still on then there is a cut to the two of them nude in bed. The guy kisses along Lindsay Wagner’s breasts. There are close-up camera pans up Lindsay’s perfect nude body. More shots of the guy running his hands over her body follow. He kisses her stomach and touches her breasts. Next they are dressed, relaxing on the sofa, but the Gestapo-types have discovered where their fugitive is. They break into the apartment and, as Lindsay Wagner watches from hiding outside the widow, terminate her lover. How totally stupid. Who writes this crap anyways? Good thing this scene had tons of Lindsay nudity or it would have sucked. BTW- the box cover showed Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood on it along with Lindsay, but there's no Sara in the entire video! That's false advertising!!!

Lindsay Wagner: Reflections
(33:17-36:28)
Curtains open and we see Lindsay wearing purple bra, panties, garters and stockings. The bra and panties disappear in the blink of an eye. There are nice close-ups of Lindsay Wagner’s sweet little kitty. There are shots of her with the bra and panties on again. In one shot she is nude and the camera pans up, passed her vagina, over her breast and to her face. There are more close-ups of her cooch and a nice shot of her butt. WOW! She spreads her legs apart and there is a real surprising close-up of her vag clearly showing the lips. Playboy is really pushing the limits here. There are more excellent shots of her entire body, some with her in the lingerie but many with her completely nude. Every centimeter of Lindsay Wagner’s nude body comes under the careful scrutiny of the camera. Very nice. One of the best scenes in the video because it's about Lindsay and not some stupid strory.

Lindsay Wagner: Hallway Kiss
(40:36-45:33)
Between segment I believe I recognized Playmate Kayla Collins. Again, she's just hanging out in the background as the scene begins. Why is Playboy teasing us like this? Either bring her into the scene or not! Or at least get her nude playing with herself or something. Whatever!
.
This scene begins as Lindsay Wagner walks down a long hallway in an apartment building. A guy also walks down the hallway and he and Lindsay pass each other. They smile at one another and their hands brush together. They look at each other before going into their respective apartments. Lindsay, inside her apartment, thinks about the encounter in the hallway. The guy walks to her door and is about to knock, but chickens out. Meanwhile Lindsay Wagner is just inside the door and her clothes start to come off. Quickly she is completely nude and the camera pans over her body following her hands. There is an overhead shot from above the door and we see the guy standing just outside Lindsay's door and just on the other side we see her completely nude. Next, in a fantasy sequence (not sure which one is having the fantasy, maybe both) Lindsay Wagner is standing all alone in the hall completely nude. Next she and the guy are nude in the hallway embracing. There is a close-up of the guy’s hand on her perfect ass. Then he gets to fondle her breasts and run his hands over Lindsay’s outstanding body. The fantasy portion ends. The guy goes back to his apartment after not knocking on her door. Just as he enters his apartment, Lindsay, fully clothed, walks out of her apartment and catches a glimpse of him as he closes the door. This scene is nothing special. Just a teaser, really. We never get to see Lindsay Wagner the way we want- nude!

Lindsay Wagner: Cinderella
(48:49-55:43)
Lindsay reads a book while sitting on a couch. She looks off into the distance dreamily. Next we see her in her fantasy, walking down a long staircase, wearing a raggedy dress and carrying a bucket. Behind her come two other girls, dressed far better (I think one of them is Brittany Binger). They shove miss Wagner as they pass by. If you haven’t guessed yet, she was reading "Cinderella". Lindsay Wagner carries the bucket to a bathtub and fills it. She takes off her dress exposing her breasts, and climbs into the tub. Inter-cut with scenes of Lindsay Wagner taking a bath are scenes of a big white house where a party is taking place.

There are very nice shots of Lindsay's body, including one of her coochy, as she continues to bathe. At the party a guy welcomes the two girls who shoved Lindsay on the stairs. I’ll refer to them as the stepsisters (one of them being played by the beautiful Playboy model Kelly Carrington). Miss Wagner now poses nude on the stairs turned sideways to the camera. The camera pans over her body. She is nude back in the bathroom as she twirls around and magically a glamorous dress appears on her body. Now she can go to the party too. At the party we see the two plain stepsisters boring the guy (in the part of Prince Charming, though everyone is in modern clothes). Lindsay Wagner arrives and all eyes turn towards her, including those of Prince Charming. He abandons the two stepsisters and dances with Lindsay instead. Three different scenes are inter-cut at this point. Along with the two dancing, there are shots of the two embracing in the nude by a fireplace and shots of Lindsay Wagner posing by herself nude on the blanket. The scenes between Lindsay and the guy are very soft softcore, with mostly kissing and a little caressing. The shots of Lindsay nude by herself give her plenty of great exposure. Back at the dance the clock strikes twelve, and if you have just a passing knowledge of the story you know what that means. Lindsay Wagner runs from the party, and is back in her raggedy dress before she’s even out the door. In her rush she has left a slipper behind. The next day the prince is searching for the girl at the party. At the base of the stairs he tries the slipper on the two stepsisters and, of course, it doesn’t fit. Lindsay (looking a little cocky) descends the stairs in her raggedy dress and tries on the slipper. Of course it fits, and she and the prince live happily ever after. Pretty lame indeed. We hardly ever get to see Lindsay naked. What's up with that?

The DVD Grades: Picture A-/ Audio B+/ Bonus B-/Overall B-

Playboy Video Centerfold: Lindsay Wagner appears in an aspect ratio of 1.33:1 on this single-sided, single-layered DVD; due to those dimensions, the image has not been enhanced for 16X9 televisions. While not perfect, Year was better looking than most Playboy products. Colors was mostly positive. The tones consistently looked natural and vibrant. Overall, the main problems was softness, but the program was still attractive enough for a “B-“. Sharpness seemed decent. At times, some softness popped up, usually due to a gauzy style of photography apparently meant to smooth out some of Lindsay Wagner’s harder edges. Delineation was erratic, as some shots were crisp and concise while others looked liked they’d smeared Vaseline on the lens which I really hate. For instance, the scene with Spencer Scott was so blurry that you could barely tell who was who. Is that Lindsay Wagner or Spencer? I can't tell because there's so much vaseline on the lens!!!

The Dolby Surround 2.0 soundtrack of the 2006 Playmate of the Year seemed more ordinary, though it was a little better than other Playboy mixes. The soundfield only moderately broadened out from the center. Most elements stayed in the middle, but music showed some Lindsay Wagner elements. Those elements heavily dominated the program, and the songs blended mildly to the side and surround channels. Dialogue stayed in the middle, and the occasional effects remained centered as well other than some light echo which was okay.

As we head to the supplements, we find a few materials. First we get some Behind the Scenes. These include glimpses of “Lindsay Wagner’s Playboy Magazine Photo Shoot” and “Playmate of the Year DVD Shoot”. Both work the same way, as we watch the sessions and hear comments from Lindsay about the experiences. She adds pretty decent insight into the recreations of classic photos for the first featurette, but she gives us nothing of us in the second one. There she just talks about how amazing and wonderful everything was.

So in conlusion, if you're a huge Lindsay Wagner fan, then by all means, get this DVD. You'll enjoy it. But if you're only kind of into Miss Wagner and want to see the other girls, then don't bother becasue it's mostly about Lindsay and not really that great.

Overal this video is very strong. Although I'd like to see more of Lindsay Wagner nude, it was still very good.