I'm sure you're going to be one of those women that looks amazing at any age, I can just tell.

Jordan Monroe Video Review

Reviewed by Kenny McCormick The DVD Grades: Picture A-/ Audio B+/ Bonus B- Playboy Video Centerfold: Playmate of the Year Jordan Monroe appears in an aspect ratio of 1.33:1 on this single-sided, single-layered DVD; due to those dimensions, the image has not been enhanced for 16X9 televisions. While not perfect, Year was better looking than most Playboy products. Colors were good. The tones consistently looked natural and vibrant. Overall, the main problems was softness, but the program was still attractive enough for a “B-“. Sharpness seemed decent. At times, some softness popped up, usually due to a gauzy style of photography apparently meant to smooth out some of Playmate Jordan Monroe’s harder edges. Delineation was erratic, as some shots were crisp and concise while others looked liked they’d smeared Vaseline on the lens. Overall definition was fine, and only occasional, minor instances of jagged edges or shimmering occurred. As for source flaws, I noticed a little video artifacting but that was it. The Dolby Surround 2.0 soundtrack of the 2006 Playmate of the Year seemed more ordinary, though it was a little better than other Playboy mixes. The soundfield only moderately broadened out from the center. Most elements stayed in the middle, but music showed some Jordan Monroe spread. Those elements heavily dominated the program, and the songs blended mildly to the side and surround channels. Dialogue stayed in the middle, and the occasional effects remained centered as well other than some light echo. All these years I’ve been disappointed by Playboy Playmates. Actually, I think they’ve let me down even more frequently than Oscar. I’m not sure that there’s ever been a year Hef and I agreed on a Playmate, though some years I’m more disappointed than others. And now you can add Jordan Monroe to the list. I thought 2005 presented only one really exceptional Playmate: Kelly Carrington (Miss October). I liked some of the others as well, but those two stood out as easily the best the year had to offer. After a couple of poor red-haired choices to start the 21st century, Playboy finally started to recognize brunettes. This meant the presence of Jordan Monroe as PMOY 2006. Not only did we get two straight dark-haired PMOYs, but the magazine also went against the silicone trend of recent years. Before Jordan Monroe, seven of the prior 10 PMOYs were clearly “enhanced”, but both came with wonderfully natural breasts. All of this meant I thought there was little chance we’d get another brunette PMOY for 2006, much less one without implants, so there went my hopes for either to win. Well, my prediction was half-correct. Raven-haired Jordan Monroe (Miss February) is as dark-haired as they come, but she clearly went under the knife before her Playboy experience. I’ve seen more obvious boob jobs, but I’ve also observed many more natural-looking “enhancements”. So while Playboy went with an unprecedented third-straight brunette PMOY, they picked the wrong one. Despite my disdain for breast implants, I still think I should like Jordan Monroe, or at least find her more enticing than I do. However, as demonstrated in "Playboy Video Centerfold: Jordan Monroe" presents a curiously bland and uninspiring presence. The only thing that saves it is the quick cameo by Janine Habeck who looks great. During the main program’s 32 minutes, we see Jordan Monroe in a mix of settings. Some of the scenes were actually directed by porn superstar Hope Dworaczyk. The set-ups will seem familiar to fans of Playboy videos, as we’ve seen plenty of similar material in the past. Five vignettes form the majority of the piece. Jordan bounces around a movie lot to a country tune and then she poses in an edgy New York loft. In one fantasy sequence, she snags some dude’s cameraphone and takes nude shots of herself, while in another, movie-star Miss Monroe escapes paparazzi and then poses for a different guy on a rooftop and in a large theater. The other elements show Jordan in classic pinup poses. In between these pictorial elements, Jordan Monroe chats about her life and her personality. She also tells us about her experiences with nude Spencer Scott, her first lesbian lover. These don’t fill a lot of time, however, as the vignettes dominate the program. As always, we learn little real information about the model. Playmates always talk in generic tones about themselves and their careers, so these Jordan Monroe segments quickly turn tedious. I suppose the DVDs have to include them, but they’re pretty lame. In the first scene we're in a studio set-up to look like a forest. Jordan, who is wearing a only a white slip, walks up to a trunk. She climbs into it as we go in for a close-up and, like magic, we are instantly taken to the roof of a building in what looks like the seedy part of town. But the scenery improves dramatically as Miss Monroe emerges from the trunk completely nude. Jordan poses full-frontal on the roof then dances about twirling around as soft music plays on the soundtrack. There is a quick shot of her in a dress then she gets the full-frontal treatment with the camera panning up over her cooch, passed her breasts, and on to her face. Jordan poses full-frontal some more then kneels down in and it closes behind her as we go in for a close-up. As we back up we see that Playmate Jordan Monroe has been transported to a beach along the ocean. She emerges from the trunk but now she has a dress on. Jordan twirls around wearing the dress then runs in the sand then sits down wearing the dress. As we back up we now find Jordan Monroe in the great outdoors with trees and mountains in the background. She pops out of the trunk completely nude and holds her arms in the air. There are different shots of her body then she gets the full-frontal treatment as she lies sideways. For good measure, fellow Playmate Jayde Nicole shows up and gives Jordan a smack on the ass. Jordan doesn't seem to like this and disappears back in. She reappears back in the original studio. Miss Monroe is sweaty from her adventure and desides to masturbate right there. The final scene in this video is probably the best as we get Playboy Playmates Jordan Monroe and Ida Ljungqvist in the same scene together. Jordan is looking amazing as she does a slow striptease for Tyran while she plays with herself. Then, when everyone is all good and wet, Miss Monroe breaks out a purple jelly dong and works the other two girls over until they each have screaming orgasms. They return the favor by taking turns licking Jordan's ample breasts and clean-shaven pussy. The chemistry between the girls is excellent as they really seem to be having a good time. Jordan is especially ethusiastic as she seems to have multiple orgasms throught the scene. If you're a big Playboy Playmate Jordan Monroe fan, then this scene make the price of the DVD worth it to you. Unfortunately, I find little reason to rewatch any of Miss Jordan’s nude vignettes either. Granted, she was going to be a tough sell for me due to her chest. I really don’t like implants, and hers look bad here. In photos, they often seem surprisingly decent, but in these videos, her breasts come across as hard and bulbous. This spreads to Jordan Monroe herself, as she lacks the “girl next door” charm of the best Playboy models. She’s not as fake and processed as 2006’s nude Kara Monaco - arguably the worst ever choice for PMOY, but Jordan often comes across as an artificial presence.That leaves this Video Centerfold as a disappointing dud. I may not be wild about Jordan Monroe as PMOY, but I certainly expected hotter action than what I found in this dull video, especially since I’ve seen many sexy vignettes that featured models I find to be significantly less attractive. Jordan lacks presence and charisma in front of the camera, and the director fails to do anything to spice up the proceedings. I also don't like the amount of fake breasts in this video. It really makes me long for natural-chested Playmates like Jillian Grace whose tits have to be seen to be believed.This is a weak Playboy product overall and I just can't recommend you by it unless you're a hardcore Jordan Monroe fan.. As we head to the supplements, we find a few materials. First we get some Behind the Scenes. These include glimpses of “Jordan Monroe’s Playboy Magazine Photo Shoot” and “Playmate of the Year DVD Shoot”. Both work the same way, as we watch the sessions and hear comments from Jordan Monroe about the experiences. She adds pretty decent insight into the recreations of classic photos for the first featurette, but she gives us nothing of us in the second one. There she just talks about how Jordan Monroe amazing and wonderful everything was. We get some of that in Playboy magazine, but there’s enough good content to make it moderately informative. What I really wanted to see was her awesome appearance on The Howard Stern Show with fellow Playmate Dasha Astafieva. Now THAT would have been amazing. Overall, a disappointing video for a disappointing Playmate. Playboy Video Centerfold: Jordan Monroe never becomes anything very interesting I'm afraid. I’m not wild about Miss Monroe as a model, and the video vignettes do nothing to make her more appealing. They’re generic and bland and fail to deliver the goods. It would have been much better if she had done a lezbo scene with gorgeous Playmate Monica Leigh. Picture and sound quality are consistently acceptable but no better. The set comes with a few nice extras, particularly since it includes a few bonus video pictorials. Overall, this is a mediocre release that I don’t recommend to anyone other than true Jordan Monroe fans.