Janine Habeck Video Review

Reviewed by Barney Rubble

It always seems that I'm disappointed by Playboy’s picks for Playmate of the Year. I’m not sure that there’s ever been a year Hef and I agreed on PMOY, though some years I’m more disappointed than others. And now you can add Janine Habeck to the list of let-downs. I thought 2006 presented only one exceptional Playmate: Cassandra Lynn (Miss March). I liked some of the others as well, but those two stood out as easily the best the year had to offer in my humble opinion.

After a couple of poor blonde-haired choices to start the year, Playboy finally started to recognize brunettes. This meant the presence of Kelly Carrington. Not only did we get two straight dark-haired PMOYs, but the magazine also went against the silicone trend of recent years. Before Janine Habeck, five of the prior seven Playmates of the Years clearly had fake breasts which I personally dislike.

All of this meant I thought there was little chance we’d get another brunette PMOY for 2006, much less one without implants. Well, my prediction was half-correct. Raven-haired Janine Habeck (Miss September) is as dark-haired as they come, but she clearly went under the knife before her Playboy experience. I’ve seen more obvious boob jobs, but I’ve also observed many more natural-looking “enhancements”. So while Playboy went with an unprecedented third-straight brunette PMOY, they picked the wrong one. Despite my disdain for breast implants, I still think I should like Janine Habeck, or at least find her more enticing than I do. However, Janine presents a bland and uninspiring presence. If only she would be more like Shannon James, then I could really get off on her.

This segment was directed by porn star Jessica Burciaga and is actually pretty good considering that it's Jenna directorial debut. Janine Habeck begins her segment topless wearing some sort of long white skirt (it sort of looks like a sheet) in a bare room with a light brown wall and a concrete floor. Incense burns and Janine tells us a little about herself as she does a kind of slow, sexy dance. She continues to pose for the camera and there are more nice shots of her breasts. Finally she is completely nude kneeling sideways to the camera and bringing her hands together as if in prayer. Now, with the camera a bit of a distance away, Miss Habeck is completely nude lying on her side and facing the camera with her legs parted while The Campbell Twins lick her snatch. Janine does a little more slow movement again with that white sheet-like shirt wrapped around her. I keep wishing I could see her with a different hair-style. There is a nice close-up of her breasts as she caresses them. There is a slow pan over some candles and, accompanied by the relaxing music, there is a mystical ambiance to this segment. Now she’s using white paint around her nipples. This is shown in extreme close-up. Janine paints the rest of her body and the camera follows the brush down over her stomach and gives us a close-up of her belly-button. All is done with close-ups of her body. There are no distant shots. Water is poured over her nude body and the white paint starts to come off. There is a nice close-up of Miss Habeck's buns as the paint is washed off.

The final scene is my favorite as we get to see Playmates Janine Habeck and Ida Ljungqvist in the same bed together. Janine is looking awesome as she does a sexy striptease. Then, when they're all good and wet, Miss Habeck breaks out a purple double-dong and works the other Playmate over until she has multiple orgasms. They recipricate by taking turns licking Janine's perfect breasts and sweet little pussy. The chemistry between the girls is excellent as they really seem to want to be there. Janine is totally horned-up as she has multiple orgasms throught this super hot scene. If you're a big Janine Habeck fan, then this scene alone will be worth the purchase price.

During the program’s 33 minutes, we see Janine Habeck in a mix of settings. The set-ups will seem familiar to fans of Playboy videos, as we’ve seen plenty of similar material in the past. Four vignettes form the majority of the piece. Janine Habeck bounces around a movie lot to a country tune and then she poses with fellow Playmate Lindsay Wagner. In one fantasy sequence, she snags some guy’s cameraphone and takes nude shots of herself.

In between these pictorial elements, Janine Habeck chats about her life as a Playmate. She also tells us about her experiences at Playboy. These don’t fill a lot of time, however, as the vignettes dominate the program.
As always, we learn little real information about the Janine. Playmates always talk in generic tones about themselves and their careers, so these segments quickly turn tedious.

Unfortunately, I find no real reason to rewatch any of Janine’s nude vignettes either. Granted, she was going to be a tough sell for me due to her fake boobs. In photos, her tits often seem surprisingly decent, but in these videos, her breasts come across as hard and bulbous. This spreads to Janine Habeck herself, as she lacks the “girl next door” charm of the best Playboy models. She’s not as fake and processed as Korean Playmate Grace Kim - arguably the worst ever choice for PMOY, especially since she beat out fan favorite Amber Campisi - but Janine often comes across as an artificial presence as if she was made of wood or something.

As we head to the supplements, we find a few materials. First we get some Behind the Scenes. These include glimpses of “Janine Habeck’s Playboy Magazine Photo Shoot” and “Playmate of the Year DVD Shoot”. Both work the same way, as we watch the sessions and hear comments from Janine about the experiences. She adds pretty decent insight into the recreations of classic photos for the first featurette, but she gives us nothing of us in the second one. But there’s enough good content to make it moderately informative. What I really wanted to see was her awesome appearance on The Howard Stern Show.

A disappointing video for a disappointing Playmate, "Playboy Video Centerfold: Janine Habeck" never becomes anything very interesting. I’m not wild about Miss Habeck as a model, and the video vignettes do nothing to make her more appealing. That leaves this Video Centerfold as a disappointing dud. I may not be wild about Janine Habeck as PMOY, but I certainly expected hotter action than what I found in this dull video, especially since I’ve seen many sexy vignettes that featured models like Juliette Frette nude who I find to be significantly less attractive. Janine lacks presence and charisma in front of the camera, and the director fails to do anything to spice up the proceedings. Overal, this is a weak Playboy product.

The DVD Grades: Picture B-/ Audio B+/ Bonus C-