Cassandra Lynn Video Review

VIDEO REVIEWED: "Playboy Presents: Fun in the Sun with Cassandra Lynn"

I’ve been disappointed by Playboy’s picks for their Playmates for a while now. I think they’ve let me down even more frequently than the Academy Awards. I’m not sure that there’s ever been a year Hef and I agreed on PMOY either. Though some years I’m more disappointed than others. And now you can add Cassandra Lynn to the pile of let-downs. I thought 2005 presented two exceptional Playmates: Jessica Burciaga (Miss December) and Amanda Paige (Miss September). I liked some of the others as well, but those two stood out as easily the best the year had to offer. After a couple of poor dark-haired choices to start the 21st century, Playboy finally started to recognize blondes. This meant the presence of Cassandra Lynn. Not only did we get two straight dark-haired PMOYs, but the magazine also went against the silicone trend of recent years. Before Cassandra, eight of the prior nine PMOYs were clearly enhanced with big fake tits.

All of this meant I thought there was little chance we’d get another blonde PMOY for 2006, much less one without implants, so there went my hopes for either to win. Well, my prediction was half correct. Blonde-haired Cassandra Lynn is as blonde as they come. I’ve seen more obvious boob jobs, but I’ve also observed many more natural-looking “enhancements”. So while Playboy went with an unprecedented third-straight blonde PMOY (the last being Sarah Elizabeth), they picked the wrong one. Despite my disdain for breast implants, I still think I should like Cassandra Lynn, or at least find her more enticing than I do. However, as demonstrated in this Playboy video presents a curiously bland and uninspiring presence for some strange reason.

During the main program we see Cassandra Lynn in a mix of settings. The set-ups will seem familiar to fans of Playboy videos, as we’ve seen plenty of similar material in the past. Four vignettes form the majority of the piece. Cassandra Lynn bounces around a movie lot to a country tune and then she poses in a loft with Michelle McLaughlin wich is kind of hot. In one fantasy sequence, she snags some dude’s cameraphone and takes nude shots of herself, while in another, movie-star Miss Lynn escapes paparazzi and then poses for a different guy on a rooftop and in a movie theater. Then, out of the blue, The Campbell Twins shows up and they go at it for an hour or so. You just got to love the way Playboy Playmates are so loose with their morals.

In the best of all the scenes, Cassandra is wearing a black bra, thong panties, garters and stockings. She climbs on to a mechanical bull and gives it a sexy ride. Soon she strips out of the bra and goes topless. There are nice shots of Cassandra's breasts as she continues on the bull. Soon her panties disappear and there are nice close-ups of her breasts, buns and cooch. She seems to become sexually aroused by the movements of the bull. She rubs her breasts and poses a little more then climbs off the bull wearing nothing but stockings and shoes.

The scene changes to a large house. Cassandra Lynn walks across a large room in a white dress and opens a door. Next she is seen slinking around in black bra and panties. She poses on a couch then kisses her friend Brittany Binger who has been waiting for her to return. There's more of Cassandra walking around the house then, with the help of Alison, her bra comes off. There is a nice close-up of her buns as she rubs up against her fellow Playmate. The only complaint I have is of Brittany's obvious boob-job. Cassandra has big, beautiful, all-natural mellons, but when their rubbing against Brittany's, hers look extra fake. It makes me long for more natural-chested Playmates whose breasts are stunning and would have look amazing rubbing up against Cassandra's huge hooters!

Next Cassandra Lynn is seen topless with blue panties then nude in an open coat. We also see her nude in the bathroom. Next she gets the full-frontal treatment starting with a shot of her butt filling the screen, then a pan up over her breasts and to her face. She poses nude some more, including while lying on the floor. Miss Lynn rolls around on the floor giving us alternating looks at her buns and her breasts. She then starts fooling around with Hope Dworaczyk and we get a nice shot of her pouring milk over Valentina's nude body. Cassandra rolls around on a couch while nude and continues to pose for the camera around the house. The segment ends with Miss Lynn back in the black dress she started in, walking through the house.

The last scene is probably my favorite as we get Playmates Cassandra Lynn and Jessica Burciaga in the same bed together. Cassandra is looking amazing as usual as she does a slow, sexy striptease. Then, when Brittany is good and wet, Miss Lynn breaks out a purple jelly dong and works her over until she reaches orgasm. They then recipricate by taking turns licking Cassandra's perfect breasts and clean-shaven pussy. The chemistry between the two girls is excellent as they really seem to be having a good time. Cassandra is especially into it as she seems to have multiple orgasms throught the scene. If you're a big Cassandra Lynn fan, then this scene alone will be worth the purchase price of the DVD.

In between these pictorial elements, Cassandra Lynn chats about her life and her personality. She also tells us about her experiences at Playboy. These don’t fill a lot of time, however, as the vignettes dominate the program.
As always, we learn little real information about the model. Playmates always talk in generic tones about themselves and their so-called careers, so these Cassandra segments quickly turn tedious. I suppose the DVDs have to include them, but they’re eminently skippable. Unfortunately, I find little reason to rewatch any of Cassandra’s nude scenes except for the one she does with Alison Waite- now that one is hot! Granted, she was going to be a tough sell for me due to her chest. I really don’t like implants, and hers look bad here. In photos, they often seem surprisingly decent, but in these videos, her breasts come across as hard and bulbous. This spreads to Cassandra Lynn herself, as she lacks the “girl next door” charm of the best Playboy models.

That leaves "Playboy Presents: Fun in the Sun with Cassandra Lynn" as a disappointing dud. I may not be wild about Cassandra Lynn as a Playmate, but I certainly expected hotter action than what I found in this dull video, especially since I’ve seen many sexy scenes that featured models I find to be significantly less attractive then her. Cassandra lacks presence and charisma in front of the camera, and the director fails to do anything to spice up the proceedings.

The DVD Grades: Picture B-/ Audio B+/ Bonus C-

As we head to the supplements, we find a few materials. First we get some Behind the Scenes. These include glimpses of “Cassandra Lynn’s Playboy Magazine Photo Shoot” and “Playmate of the Year DVD Shoot”. Both work the same way, as we watch the sessions and hear comments from Cassandra Lynn about the experiences. She adds pretty decent insight into the recreations of classic photos for the first featurette, but she gives us nothing of us in the second one.

So in conclusion, I'd say don't buy this DVD unless you're a hardcore Cassandra Lynn fan. If you're in it for the other Playmates, then forget it, they're hardly in it at all. Don't waste your money on this one guys- it aint worth it.